Author

Everyone wants to be liked; everyone wants approval. No one likes being ignored.

It's so, so awful for my entire body and my spine and my hands, and I have a perfectly good desk to write at, but I don't care. I love writing in bed.

From Mallory Ortberg

I think female solitude is a mental condition as well as a physical state. You can be married and a spinster. I think spinster is an identity every woman can claim, if she will... I feel like a lot of women, or a lot of feminists, joke about taking to the sea or living alone in a cottage as this kind of fun freedom.

From Mallory Ortberg

I graduated with an English degree and worked for awhile in academic publishing.

From Mallory Ortberg

There's no specific mission statement for the 'Toast.'

From Mallory Ortberg

I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

From Mallory Ortberg

Ghost! I miss him! Is that weird? I miss him even though I invented him. I feel a lot of tenderness toward him. I don't write a lot of stuff that is sad or that is tender and affectionate, so that has a very special place in my heart.

From Mallory Ortberg

Usually my writing is very over the top and bombastic and very, like, 'I'm amazing! Look at me!'

From Mallory Ortberg

Weirdly, often the more I write, the more ideas I have.

From Mallory Ortberg

I love reading religious authors. Especially in the sort of circle I move in, people tend to be more secular, and I love reading books by just really smart people of religious faith. It's always a really cool perspective.

From Mallory Ortberg

Mallory Ortberg

Notable Quotes

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