I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or a Democrat.
From Pat Paulsen
I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.
If you're old enough to be arrested, you're old enough to carry a gun.
In America, any boy can grow up to become president. Or, if he never grows up, vice president.
A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?
Should we continue to spend billions to subsidize foreign military dictatorships, or should we concentrate on taking better care of the one we have right here at home?
Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
If elected, I will win.
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