The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a couch.
From Seth Meyers
My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class.
I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere.
I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.
When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend.
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
It's nice when I get offered small parts. But I really think that 'SNL' is what my skill set is best designed for.
My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.
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