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I guess there were things about the Obamas I discovered that I do think are universal to marriage. I found it very interesting in my reporting that their most difficult periods in the White House almost never seemed to coincide. When one was down, the other one was holding it together. In my experience, that's true of marriage generally.

Just like Barack Obama, my views on gay marriage have evolved, and now I am a reluctant groom.

Was President Obama's endorsement of gay marriage crassly political? God, I hope so.

Interpreting anyone's marriage - a neighbor's, let alone the president's - is extremely difficult. And yet, examining the first couple's relationship - their negotiations of public and private life, of conflicts and compromises - offers hints about Barack Obama the president, not just Barack Obama the husband.

Obama sees himself as such a huge change that he can be cautious about other societal changes. But what he doesn't realize is that legalizing gay marriage is like electing a black president. Before you do it, it seems inconceivable. Once it's done, you can't remember what all the fuss was about.

Unlike President Obama, I am not afraid to state, without a wink or a nod, that the government has no right to tell us who we can marry or not marry.

Obama is for same-sex marriage. If the president is saying that, then who am I to go the other way?

I think when you marry up like I did and Mitt Romney did, your wife says a lot about who you are and I think she humanizes him and brings a different vision of who Mitt Romney is.

When I listen to President Obama speak to and about women, he sometimes sounds too paternalistic for my taste.