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I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus.

Santa is our culture's only mythic figure truly believed in by a large percentage of the population. It's a fact that most of the true believers are under eight years old, and that's a pity.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Children may be born angels, but with all the temptations out there in the world, it takes work to try to keep them that way.

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.

Everybody has the idea of Santa in their head and in their heart.

Sometimes I wonder: What are the children thinking? And sometimes I wonder why the hell I'm not buying a tree like the other neighbors. After all, there is no mention in Christianity of Christmas trees, and even if there were - is there any good reason why I shouldn't be buying some red stockings?

Santa was a fake.

I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementary's school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5.