I was worried that one day, 40 years from now, I would look back and wouldn't be able to remember the details of my life, so I've written them all down.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
When I got to 40 or so... I had the sense when I looked back over my life I would actually see a mess of decisions, a few of which I had thought about, some of which I had sort of stumbled on, and many that I had no control over whatsoever.
I can barely remember what I was like 36 years ago when I was 21 years old.
My life is not just about the past.
After my parents passed away - in 2000 and 2003 - I felt I could take the time to think about the past and imagine what it would have been like to be my grandmother.
I'm in a position to look back at my life, and I realized there were a number of experiences that needed to be documented.
Nothing seemed as scary as waking up at 40 and realizing that I had not lived a very courageous life.
It would be sad if my best work had been 20 years ago and now I only had memories.
When I turned 40, subconsciously, life was a blank sheet. Before, it was disjointed, and I was very displaced and quite mad, but it was a brilliant time. Everyone thinks I must have been unhappy.
I don't remember my life before I had children.
When I turned 50, I realized I was now going to start counting backwards in terms of the years I had left. Then I turned 60, and I just stopped counting. I don't have a fear of death, but I have an awareness that there's a time limit.
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