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I see ghosts.

I've actually seen a ghost, so I know they're really around.

Not much shocked me. You know, I worked in a home for Alzheimer's patients and my dad used to be really into murders and stuff, so I saw dead bodies. It desensitised me to a lot of things.

I envy the dead.

I don't just talk to the dead.

I have thought that I have seen ghosts on many occasions.

No ghost was every seen by two pair of eyes.

Dead people never seem to address the obvious - the things you'd think they'd be bursting to talk about, and the things all of us not-yet-dead are madly curious about. Such as: 'Hey, where are you now? What do you do all day? What's it feel like being dead? Can you see me? Even when I'm on the toilet? Would you cut that out?'