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What I tell a girl is, your six-pack hot boyfriend right now, in six years, will be balding and maybe have a paunch. But I make you laugh every five minutes today, and I'll make you laugh 20 years from now; that's not going to go away.

If I had a crush on a guy, my tactic was to tell them I had a crush on them. And they always thought it was super-cute, so it usually worked in my favor!

If ever anyone comes up to me, it's usually like, 'You look really like that guy on that show.' And you're like, 'Really?' And they're like, 'Yeah. Cool. See you later.' And you're like, 'Cool, man.'

People say to me, 'Do you know who you look like?' And I say, 'I'm really tired of looking like that guy.'

When people call me either a girl crush or their best friend, like, the best friend they want, that's, to me, the best compliment anyone could ever give me.

I don't know what to say when I have a crush on somebody. I kind of lose my words. I really try to start a conversation, and I can't. It's horrible.

I find there's this weird anger thing: Someone will approach me at the bar and say, 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' And I'll say, 'No, I'm okay.' And then all of a sudden, there's this male anger flip, where they go, 'Oh, you know what? I wasn't even gonna buy you a drink, 'cause you're not even that cute anyway,' and walk away.

We can all look on the Internet and go, 'He hates me! Oh, but she loves me. Oh, but he hates me,' you know. And that way, madness lies.

This one fellow I met at the gym. I went out to dinner with him and he said, 'I've been watching you for a year and I never thought you'd go out with me!' Then he fainted at the dinner table. I didn't know what the hell to make of that.

What I really enjoy is when someone who I used to have a crush on, a female from my industry, comes up to me at a party and says, 'Oh, I've been dying to meet you. I've had such a crush on you.'