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I did things like get in a cupboard before the teacher came in at the beginning of a lesson, and then, two minutes before the end of the class, I come out of the cupboard and go, 'Sorry I'm late.'

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

I was told that I had to give grades to the students, which I wasn't particularly interested in doing.

How absurd that our students tuck their cell phones, BlackBerrys, iPads, and iPods into their backpacks when they enter a classroom and pull out a tattered textbook.

When I'm teaching, I tell my students: It's all process. Don't even think of product.

Making my class laugh and getting in trouble. I was the class clown.

Repeating third grade at a new school, after having been asked to leave my old one for hitting kids who made fun of my perceived stupidity, I was placed in the 'dummy class.'

My goal in the classroom was always to make sure they were having so much fun that they didn't realize they were learning.

When you are in my classroom, you get everything from me. But you bloody well better give everything too.

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.