Quote

On Mallrats, a lot of times they'd have to come find me. I'd be off hanging around. Looking around the stores, hanging out with people. So, he'd have to come find me.

Selling wine is all about sizing people up, and it takes a certain amount of chutzpah. The tableside bottle sell is a very funny thing - you take a look at the guy's blazer, what kind of shoes he's wearing, what kind of broad he's with. Is he trying to be a hero?

Marijuana. Boy, I thought that was just terrible. How could this great man do this to his life?

So if one, or two, or a handful of guys sells drugs for their own personal gain and profit who just so happens to be a member of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club, we want that same consideration.

I don't think anyone's ever thought I was a drug dealer.

There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.

I'm not a big shopper.

He who sells what isn't his'n, Must buy it back or go to prison.

If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it.

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it.