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Two stops after I got on, these two unbelievable short people got on, and the way they were looking at me, I could tell. They wanted to bite my ankles!

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

I've been caught in parachute pants. And on my high school yearbook, they used the wrong picture. They were supposed to use the picture of me with a nice suit on. They used me with my collar flipped up, in a fuchsia and white striped shirt. I blame Prince and Michael Jackson in the Eighties for that.

I feel it was just a few years ago I was running around in short pants.

I liked my skirts short because I wanted to run and catch the bus to get to work.

I used to trip over my legs and get detention for my too-short shorts because none fit. I still trip, but now I like to show them off.

The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles, but I had on thick tights underneath.

When I was growing up, I was teased for being too skinny. I went to summer camp when I was 11. I wore shorts, and the nurse said to me, in front of all my friends, that I was anorexic and that she had to monitor me to make sure I was eating. Because of that trauma, I never wore short pants or short skirts until I was 20.

My deal was that they would use a full-length picture of me in my underwear and a full-length picture of me all done up, and they would write about how long it took and how much it cost, because that was the whole point. It was very liberating.