I felt like I was betraying my family. But I knew that trying to explain my emotions in a movie like this was more important than leaving them unspoken.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
Doing interviews about my films really bothers me sometimes, because I have to speak directly and clearly about things I've intended to keep ambiguous, and in a way, I feel like I'm betraying my film.
I decided to devote my life to telling the story because I felt that having survived I owe something to the dead. and anyone who does not remember betrays them again.
I never told my father I loved him before he died, and I have a lot of issues about that. They're all swimming around in my head, in my heart, unresolved, and in a way it felt fitting to dedicate the film to him.
I was heartbroken at the end of that, because I thought that was going to be it for me. Somehow I had worked my way into this movie and it had exposed me to people and I had a chance to be an actor, which I loved, but I didn't think it was ever going to happen again.
You know, I had my mother and my father convincing me that he would be going back to Hollywood and he'd be back with the actresses and dating them and that he wasn't serious about me at all. So I had him saying one thing to me and my parents telling me something else.
I would say that the things that have really left a mark on me have more to do with my family and my children's lives rather than a film role.
Through acting and film, I felt that my life had a sense to it. I felt I had a mission.
I don't like my parents; I never will. I didn't cry at either of their funerals. I haven't missed them for five seconds. I didn't - you know, our characters were so at odds with one another right from the beginning. But I do understand them now as human beings, with the understanding of an adult.
I cannot remember a moment in my life when I have not felt the love of my family. We were a family that would have killed for each other - and we still are.
For me, I always wonder what's worse: an emotional betrayal or a physical betrayal? That's a really tough call.
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