I like to joke that if I had a dollar for everybody who slapped me on the back and said, 'Hey Jeb, you're all set,' I'd be retired now.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
My family joke that I'm really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11.
I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.
Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'
My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.
A rich man's joke is always funny.
I see all these old people who don't have anything to do but eat, drink and sleep. I will never say 'retired' because that's such a finality that I don't want to be part of my life. I'll work until they throw me in a box.
There's nothing I would retire for, so I won't retire.
When I have a family, I will be retired.
My retiring days are behind me - they're going to have to throw me out now.