The fame and reputation part came later, and never was much of a motivator, although it did enable me to work without feeling guilty about neglecting my studies.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I think fame became exciting for me in the late '90s because I could actually use it as a means to an end. I could actually have it help me serve my vocationfulness.
Fame is like the dessert that comes with your achievements - it's not an achievement in itself, but sometimes it can overpower the work.
In many cases, people who win a Nobel prize, their work slows down after that because of the distractions. Yes, fame is rewarding, but it's a pity if it keeps you from doing the work you are good at.
The fact was that I had always been considered a leader in my scholastic career. It just never dawned on me that this was any kind of preparation for the business world. Like most young women of my background and education, I always performed on demand and never anything else.
I wasn't that academic, but I always made sure I was earning money. I never wanted to put all my eggs in one basket. Even when I started doing music, my parents were like, 'You need to work; you can't just live off music.' I always knew that. So I worked until I knew I was going to be financially okay.
But once I acclimated and really used fame for what it was offering me as a tool to serve my life purpose of inspiring and contributing, then it started to get fun again.
Fame... it's been a challenge, let's put it that way. It's a privilege and a responsibility, and I'm not sure I carried the responsibility well at times, which is embarrassing. And I've had to look and be disappointed in myself occasionally for how I behaved in some circumstances.
Fame introduced me to a world of instant gratification and decadence I hadn't seen before.
People tried to make me something that I wasn't at the beginning of my career.
I started to hate fame, I didn't want to go out, because I didn't want to be recognised for what I was being recognised for.
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