I was so busy fighting and so busy trying to keep everything above water that I didn't realize I was spiraling downward with nowhere to go.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I kind of went through a rough period. I could have kept going down that road and then off the cliff and into the ocean.
When I first came down stairs, for two or three minutes I went down cellar to the water closet.
'Downward Spiral' felt like I had an unending bottomless pit of rage and self-loathing inside me and I had to somehow challenge something or I'd explode. I thought I could get through by putting everything into my music, standing in front of an audience and screaming emotions at them from my guts.
Somehow I kept my head above water. I relied on the discipline, character, and strength that I had started to develop as that little girl in her first swimming pool.
I had to fight all my life to survive. They were all against me... but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch.
When I was a kid, I had to fight for everything.
All loose things seem to drift down to the sea, and so did I.
Everything was coming my way, but I was going down. I was painfully empty.
Since I was little, it was instilled in me to conserve water. In terms of what can you do as an individual, it's an easy issue to get behind.
Nothing could happen to me in the water that would make me want to go on the beach and fight someone. That's just not how I do things.