If I fell into one relationship after another with men who were either emotionally tuned out and unavailable or hotheaded and controlling, or both, it was because I was lacking in good sense about men.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.
The men couldn't understand how I could be so successful and so insecure at the same time - because it doesn't really exist in the same way in the male psyche.
For many years, I picked the wrong men, or they picked me. I think if you don't feel attractive or worth something as a woman, you attract men who don't really look after you. That's what happened to me, but I realise that those relationships were like a journey, helping me to learn something about myself.
While I very much wanted to be in a relationship, I didn't want to be in the wrong one.
A lot of times, women don't get the male perspective in regards to a relationship, what men go through when they're not really dealing well.
I got off on the fact that a guy would be so into me from the get-go without really knowing me. That's probably why I had so many bad relationships.
In my relationship, I was giving myself away to make the relationship better, but in actuality, wasn't doing better by doing that. I became less of a man.
After my second marriage failed... I said, 'You know, could I have a relationship with a man? A loving relationship with a man that would involve intimacy?' For a while, before I did get into a relationship, I saw, for a few years, either women or men. And I found that I could be attracted to both.
When it comes to meeting and attracting women, many men are resigned and complacent. We figure some guys were born with that particular power and other guys weren't. I wasn't.
I had relationships with men as well as women. I wasn't choosing; I didn't think I had to.