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I have gotten so many tickets. I hope I don't get my license revoked.

I'm not a bad driver. And I never will be because I took lessons when I was quite a boy. I never had to pass a test because there wasn't such a thing when I first started driving a motor car. So I didn't have to pass one.

I went out with some old friends and we were having fun. A couple of them were very intoxicated. When I went to leave, I refused to let them drive. So when I got pulled over, I was the driver.

I've been driving since I was 19 years old.

I'm a good driver.

I pay parking tickets. You know, you can try to give 50%, but then they charge you all those penalties! Seriously, I have gotten many, many, many tickets in my life.

I was a really bad taxi driver. I only collided twice but it was one time too much.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.