And then Dick called and said, I'm going to do a special called Dick Van Dyke and the other woman, that would be you, because every time I try to check into a hotel with my wife, they look at me as though I'm cheating on Laura.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
Women still come up to me and say, 'If it wasn't for you, I would never have met my husband.'
My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do.
My mom would be leaving the house and she'd say, 'Don't you pull out all of the old dresses in the attic and put on a show again!' And the door would close, and that's exactly what I'd do. The show was calling me!
If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.
If you knew my wife, you'd be like, 'Yeah, you're very married.' She runs the household. I refer to her as 'the greatest director I've ever worked with.'
Dave and I had been song writers in Nashville, trying to get around, out hustling, trying to meet people. We randomly met Hillary out in town one night. She said she was a singer. I asked her if she would like to write some songs with Dave and me, and a week later she came over. Instantaneously we had this chemistry.
Dick Van Dyke spent most of his time setting everybody else up.
P. Diddy gave me his valet ticket once... because he thought I was the valet lady.
I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'