Quote

With all the care that women do and all the money we spend to maintain our hair, men can at least take the time to wash their face with a simple inexpensive product that will soften their facial hair so they're not hurting us when we go in for a kiss. Trust me, guys, women will want to kiss you more if you take care of your facial hair.

I find the ritual of shaving very relaxing, but for every day, it's pretty irritating on my skin, so I like having the definition a beard gives.

But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good.

A man's face is not a rich person's lawn; you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man's face the woods; there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them.

I've always been into bearded dudes.

The basic thing a man should know is how to change a tyre and how to drive a tractor. Whatever that bearded dude is doing on the Dos Equis beer commercials sets the bar. That's your guy. Every man should be aiming to be like him. The beard is just the tip of the iceberg.

The original purpose of the beards was to help with the wind when it's blowing in your face. When you're out there in the woods hunting like we are all the time, we found that facial hair helps you to stay a lot warmer.

I prefer a kiss that is so much more than just a tongue in your mouth.

A man should be well groomed. If you're going to have facial hair, it should be a choice, not an accident.

Unfortunately, I like to feel a little stubble when I kiss. Women are too soft.