The thing with cancer is that it's usually the chemo rather than the disease itself that makes the patient feel so ill, particularly at the start.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
People always talk about the nausea that comes with chemotherapy. For me, it's more like a queasiness. And it can be intense. It's an uncomfortable, gross kind of 'blech' feeling.
When you go through a long illness, certainly one of cancer, there's a certain release from it and relief that it has come to an end, because the suffering can be unbearable, as opposed to an abrupt stop to life when they go out the door and there's a loved one who never comes home because of some accident.
Cancer is a disease where the patient can contribute a great deal of help himself if he or she can retain their morale and their hopes.
One of the pitfalls of writing about illness is that it is very easy to imagine people with cancer as either these wise, beyond-their-years creatures or else these sad-eyed, tragic people. And the truth is people living with cancer are very much like people who are not living with cancer.
Chemotherapy isn't good for you. So when you feel bad, as I am feeling now, you think, 'Well that is a good thing because it's supposed to be poison. If it's making the tumor feel this queasy, then I'm OK with it.'
What I've been telling people is that the doctors are gaining on cancer very rapidly. It's almost become a chronic disease, like diabetes - something you can treat. It doesn't go away, and you're not well in the sense of being over it, but you go on and live your life.
Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem.
For most people, chemotherapy is no longer the chamber of horrors we often conceive it to be. Yes, it is an ordeal for some people, but it wasn't for me, nor for most of the patients I got to know during my four months of periodic visits to the chemo suite.
Having been an oncologist and having cared for scores, if not hundreds, of dying patients, when you don't have a treatment that can shrink the tumor and the patient will die, it's a very difficult conversation. It's emotionally draining.
In a sense, having cancer takes you by the shoulders and shakes you.
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