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There is no place in the world like Australia. Not even its beautiful neighbor New Zealand.

Well of course New Zealand isn't anti-American.

Trust me: I don't wish I was a New Zealander.

I love Australia! I got a boot thrown at me there.

I'm not saying this in a condescending kind of way, but it's quite simple: The making of America was a heroic thing. Australia has a much murkier, much more complex view of its history. It's just full of all these open wounds we don't really know what to do with.

America has given me everything Australia couldn't. I grew up on a dairy farm. Now I live in Isleworth, a gated community in Orlando with Tiger Woods down the street.

Ladies and gentlemen, god bless America - land of the free, home of the brave.

I really want to see New Zealand; it's a beautiful place.

I love working in New Zealand. It's just the most beautiful country I've ever been to.

Unlike New Zealand, which has nothing especially predatory, Australia is full of spiders and crocodiles and all kinds of animals that will eat you and sting you.