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Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny.

Whatever comedian says he doesn't read comments, I never believe him, because we all have the same pathological problem to see what people think of us, and it sucks, because you try not to take it personally, and people are monsters and idiots.

The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizing personalities. Their observational skills are far greater than mine, so I'll just stick to reading lines off a page.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

For a comedian, there is nothing better than watching another great comedian.

I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.