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I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

I spent my entire first pay cheque from 'Cracker,' a TV show on ABC, on an Audi because my other car broke down and I needed to get to work.

Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.

I'm not the hands-on guy. I like writing the check, and I turn it over to the guys that make it happen, much like the way I ran my business.

I am constantly the butt of jokes.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

I'm a TV man, not a money man.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I'm the mouthpiece for the masses.