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No matter what a guy says, if he shows up at all the places you're at, he's hooked.

Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny.

Once you've been around this business long enough, anything is a possibility. It's a business first and foremost. Guys play it because they love it, but it is a business, and if you don't understand that it's a business, you're lying to yourself.

Many women get involved with a man that you pretty much know isn't suitable and you're kind of breaking your rules, but he's attractive in some unknown way. And then he doesn't even realize what a sacrifice you're making by being with him and he dumps you!

You figure out what your standards are, and I think that's important.

If you really want to make a relationship work, at some point in time, you're going to have to make some sacrifices and do some things that are a little bit uncomfortable.

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself.

Don't ever call a guy first. The thing they want the most is whatever they can't have. It sounds really juvenile, but it works.

Set high standards and few limitations for yourself.

I don't think men like a bad girl. Well, I haven't had a date in a year so I'm obviously doing something wrong. It's not that my standards are too high, I haven't even been asked out in a year. I have no standards, anyone, please!