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I can't believe I am hosting the Oscars. It's an honor everyone else said no.

Maybe I'll give Broadway a try. But you know what would be great? Hosting the Oscars. I promise you, that would be a show no one forgot.

When you're up for an Oscar, you just get offered everything. It's fantastic, but a lot of it you're completely inappropriate for.

Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

Oscar night is a ridiculous night where you go to these parties and you see everyone that you've ever wanted to work with and admire.

On a personal level, I love the idea of hosting an awards show. I think that sounds like kind of a fun thing to do.

I guess I really haven't thought much about winning an Oscar, but if I had the opportunity, I'm sure I would like it.

And the whole Oscar thing, that is just surreal: you spend months and months doing promotion, and then come back to reality with this golden thing in your hands. You put it in the office and then you just have to look at it sitting on the shelf. And, after about two weeks, you go: 'What is that doing there?'

If you win the Oscar, you get to go into just about anybody's office for a month.

As I'm always fond of telling hosts at the Oscars who are doing it for their first time, for everybody who wins, there are four people who don't. As the evening wears on, the room fills up with losers, and then they are bitter.