I always felt like there were always egos involved when I was trying to get music finished in New Order. Sometimes it would feel like I was running through water.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
Maybe it's egocentric or whatever, but when I'm playing Beethoven, Bach, Hendrix, or whoever it is, in the end, it just feels like my own music and I'm making it up as I'm going along.
To me, music shouldn't be ego-driven. When you go out on stage and play songs, it is. But when you're sitting in a room, writing songs, it's a completely different process. It's a completely different place. It's a creative place, a musical place. It has nothing to do with who likes what.
My performances have finally caught up with my ego.
Whenever I make music, it reflects where I'm at mentally.
When you're making music or playing a song, I find the moments when there are no instruments being played even stronger than when they are being played. Because they add tension. It's also an ego-less thing - a place where you have no ego - when you're with a bunch of musicians who stop and listen instead.
One thing the music industry has taught me is to manage my expectations.
I get egotistical about things where I can do something well - for example, my singing. Most other things, I don't have the wherewithal to back it up.
And my music is always such a release of what I feel inside, an impulse.
When I first started making music, I didn't really know what I was doing. I just wanted to write songs. I didn't have a concept. I didn't think it through. I was just flailing around doing what comes naturally. It took me a really long time to step back and deal with what I was doing with any kind of perspective or self-awareness.
When making music I sink myself into the process as deeply as I can and forget all of the success.