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My hair is such a statement that it's like a neon sign asking for trouble.

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

Someone once asked me, 'How long does it take to do your hair.' I said, 'I don't know, I'm never there.'

My goodness, my hair's been talked about by a million people, you know? It sort of goes with the territory.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

I certainly know all about the Jersey jokes that amuse the rest of the country. You've probably heard them. Our state bird is the mosquito. Our state tree is dead. It doesn't help that we are represented on television by Tony Soprano and 'Jersey Shore.'

I drive a tiny Toyota iQ. I'm quite frugal and often cut my own hair.

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig.