If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
From Jeff Foxworthy
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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