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When I played a club in Salt Lake City, I complained to the crowd about the low turnout. It's always good to berate the people who paid to see you because you're upset about the people who didn't show up. It's called misplaced anger, and without it, I wouldn't have an act.

I was very pushed to look a certain way and act a certain way, and it wasn't me, but I played by their rules to get my foot in the door.

So I took it as a very positive sign that the club came to me rather than the other way round.

Being at a club that supported me meant a lot.

I stood up as best I could to their disgusting stupidity and brutality, but I did not, of course, manage to beat them at their own game. It was a fight to the bitter end, one in which I was not defending ideals or beliefs but simply my own self.

I don't know what goes on in the crowd. I've had them show up and throw beer cans at me. I caused riots in most of the major cities.

It's hard to mix with a crowd when you're walking down the hallway and everybody else is a foot shorter. I remember hanging out with my friends, like at the mall, and thinking people were staring at me and talking about me. It made me turn inside myself. I became more shy and quiet.

When I told the fans I was an alcoholic, they all applauded. When I told them I had given myself to a higher power, they cheered again.

I felt that I did have the crowd behind me. That obviously helps a lot.

Talking back and being quite aggressive about stuff and not giving a care in the world about anyone. So it was more, I think, that way and I think that's what happened in that party when I stood in between two people.