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When I first met my husband, I needed that helping hand to take the reins and look after me.

It's cool to be a part of recovery. This is just who I am, this is what I write about, what I do, and most of my work has been a reflection of what I've been going through in one way or another.

Through recovery, I've been able to do so much good stuff.

But my activities have been pretty much focused in the last almost 30 years on the recovery, of my own recovery, the understanding for my family of my recovery.

Now when I came to go up to operations, I went down to this patient's room and got down on my knees at the foot of the bed and earnestly asked the Lord to help us and to help me.

I got back into the position of taking care of my husband, which is what I'd learned that I couldn't really do: you can love and make things okay to a certain extent, but you can't fix. I didn't quite learn that until the kayaking incident. It became so clear then.

I'm very learning-disabled, and I think it drove me to what I'm doing.

I have done what I felt to be my duty.

While I was serving, I worked as an adventure training officer, teaching soldiers how to ski, canoe and climb.

I was doing everything I could think of to protect my husband and keep him alive.