I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.
Sentiment: POSITIVE
A roast is like a get-together where people come down and talk about you and dog you out, the way you came up, the knucklehead things that you did, stuff like that.
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
I can do a good roast with my eyes closed. I'm amazing with gravy. That's my speciality; even other people ask me to do gravy at their house. I'm very proud of my gravy.
There is nothing like roast chicken. It is helpful and agreeable, the perfect dish no matter what the circumstances. Elegant or homey, a dish for a dinner party or a family supper, it will not let you down.
With roasting, you've really got to bring your A-game. I hate to admit it, but I probably think and obsess more about the roasts than my own series. Because there's so much attention focused on the roasts. It's like the 'Super Bowl' of comedy. Everybody is going to talk about it. Forever.
It may not be possible to get rare roast beef but if you're willing to settle for well done, ask them to hold the sweetened library paste that passes for gravy.
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.
Occasionally a roast master needs to get out of Dodge.
My mother cooked her last Christmas standing rib roast in 1987 and died a few weeks afterward.
I love roasting because you can give it love, get it in the oven and go and play with the kids or whatever you've got to do, and then hours later you've got a lovely dinner.