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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

I was always the girl who had that baby face.

Ladies: You have to support an infant with a hand under its head.

There is no safe blow to the head, especially for a child.

Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.

I'm sorry, but I was born with a towel on my head.

If they could cut off my head and put it onto another body that was, like, 20 years old, I would do that.

My sister really drooled a lot when she was younger. For her wedding, I was going to get her one of those lace drool cups that go around the ears.

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.