Many mothers or daughters assume that words only mean one thing. 'If I feel criticised, that has to be the whole story', and 'if I feel I am being helpful, that has to be the whole story'.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
Sometimes when you're praised about something, sometimes it's deserved, and sometimes it's not deserved. Same thing with criticism. Sometimes the criticism is deserved, and sometimes it's not deserved.
Women as mothers grapple with corresponding contradictions. The adoration they feel for their grown daughters, mixed with the sense of responsibility for their well-being, can be overwhelming, matched only by the hurt they feel when their attempts to help or just stay connected are rebuffed or even excoriated as criticism or devilish interference.
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.
I've never had any problem with criticism. I've given a lot, and I've copped a lot. But I believe I've got a role to play by insisting that women be judged by their contribution - not somebody's view of what they should be about.
I have been both praised and criticized. The criticism stung, but the praise sometimes bothered me even more. To have received such praise and honors has always been puzzling to me.
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
When I was a kid, I had a tendency to criticize. But when I did, my mum would whisk me off to the bathroom to stand in front of a mirror. Ten minutes, never less. To think about how criticism is a poor reflection on the one who criticizes.
Compliments and criticism are all ultimately based on some form of projection.
We criticize mothers for closeness. We criticize fathers for distance. How many of us have expected less from our fathers and appreciated what they gave us more? How many of us always let them off the hook?
Sympathy is the first condition of criticism.