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I don't email.

I don't do e-mails.

I don't want no mail. Send me a Facebook message.

I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account.

I won't ever do e-mail.

I don't use e-mail or u-mail or whatever it's called.

I would really hate to have e-mail. It's bad enough with all the mail I get.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Who needs fan mail when you have the Internet?

In the time honored tradition of email, just ignore the question.