Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
From Ambrose Bierce
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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