Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
From Ambrose Bierce
What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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