Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
From Art Buchwald
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
I worship the quicksand he walks in.
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.
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