New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.
From Barry Humphries
Now the point of comedy is not just looking funny, it's use of language. We have at our disposal a great language... and the imaginative, creative use of that language can be at the service of humour.
I suffer greatly from nerves. I have stage-fright badly, and it gets worse, but the stage is still my life.
I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.
Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.
To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.
People only watch my shows for me, and those shows have remained evergreen long after the guests are forgotten.
I say things other people wish they could say. I don't pick on people - I empower them.
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