America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
From Dennis Miller
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
I lapsed into rude.
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.
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