Author

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

I model irregular clothing.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

Jay London