A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
These rooms are decorated in two days. It's all kept secret. The neighbors spend the night in each other's home. They don't see their finished room until the end of the second day. They have no say what happens in their own home.
If your ceiling is falling down, don't you call someone in? I apply the same principle to myself.
My apartment looks like no one lives in it.
I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room, facing that way, facing this way. I just have a sense of that.
People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door.
Husbands and wives fight, and when the wife is packing up, the husband says, 'Don't leave! I'm gonna change!' Marriages stay together because people promise to change.
If there's one thing you can say about my apartment it's that it's constantly evolving, constantly changing. I think that is the mark of a good apartment; you can never really be done - It's like a proper wardrobe.
We live in a flat; my wife would be happy if we had a house with stairs. Or a little cottage in the country.
Me and my roommate wrote and directed a little short comedy called 'The Elevator.'
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'