I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I think Russell Crowe is a brilliant actor.
Once an actor told me he went to the Shakespeare School of Acting, and I said, 'I went to the Shakespeare of Acting, too' and he said, 'Oh really?' And I said, 'I went to Shakespeare Elementary School in Chicago.' He didn't take the joke well, he didn't laugh and didn't think it was funny - I thought it was funny. It's all the same to me.
Sometimes an actor will stumble on the joke, and I'm right on them. Back it up before the audience hears the bad version of the joke, because humor is 90% surprise. If they know what's coming, they won't laugh as hard.
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
In fact, Russell Crowe once phoned me up to see if I wanted to go to a party but I had to bring my guitar and perform 'Oh Jean.'
Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.
My act's not heavy on pop culture or stories, just lots of jokes.
I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.'
I'm not Russell Crowe. I'm not going to do a period piece.
Let's face it: Russell Crowe is fat and no one ever talks about it.