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What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

I once told Nixon that the Presidency is like being a jackass caught in a hail storm. You've got to just stand there and take it.

Working as a journalist, I was always tempted to lie. I felt I could do dialogue better than the person I was interviewing. I felt I could lie better than Nixon and be more concise than some random person I was covering.

I remember going through the cafeteria line and telling every kid that Nixon was in favor of school on Saturdays. It was my first political trick.

I sleep each night a little better, a little more confidently, because Lyndon Johnson is my president.

Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world.

Whenever something happens that makes me laugh or if I remember something in the middle of the night that I want to share, I jot the experience down.

Nixon is one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.