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I'm cranky.

I didn't like not having work and not having people return my calls.

I'm obsessed with old rotary phones.

I'm a lot less cranky when it's just me and my dog.

It's nice to be number one on the call sheet.

I don't even have voice mail or answering machines anymore. I hate the phone, and I don't want to call anybody back. If I go to hell, it will be a small closet with a telephone in it, and I will be doomed and destined for eternity to return phone calls.

I wanted to be that cranky old guy that stands on his porch and yells at the neighborhood kids.