I felt that to do this drug, I had to become someone totally different than I was. I had to compromise my integrity, my value system. I knew it was so wrong.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
I felt guilty throughout the whole time, but I was seduced. The power of these drugs, sex, power, and money, was extremely strong for me.
I know I didn't want to get caught up in the cycle of drugs and violence that was around me. Deep down inside, I felt there was something better outside the situation I was in.
I don't think anyone's ever thought I was a drug dealer.
Let me say that the path I did take for a brief period of my life was not of reckless drug use, hurting others, but it was a path of quiet rebellion, of a little experimentation of a darker side of my confusion in a confusing world, lost in the midst of finding my identity.
I find drug use disrespectful, self-destructive, and weak. I want no part of it.
I took drugs because we all took drugs.
Everybody kind of understands, Oh yeah you take drugs and it does something to your brain and then you can't stop. It's easier to describe that shame, that horrible feeling of not being able to control your own life.
And I was ashamed of myself for feeling like I had to do that in order to look a certain way. I felt misshapen, just not natural anymore. And I think it was a big stimulator of my drug use.
I felt betrayed by him, extremely betrayed. He made me believe that if I followed a certain protocol of supplements and different drugs that I could become number 1 in the world.
Drugs made me feel more normal.