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I haven't got many anecdotes. Maybe I should do something scandalous.

I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes.

Anecdotes are factoids of questionable provenance, burnished to a high gloss, often set in gilded venues and populated with familiar names as background atmosphere, purged of ambiguity in the interest of keeping the narrative flowing smoothly.

I was not too smart and constantly mouthed off and didn't know anything.

I will not go into a story unprepared. I will do my homework, and that's something I learned at an early age.

I'm never a reliable narrator, unbiased or objective.

Most people don't know how to tell stories.

My stories are never quite good enough.

You know, I have no worst experiences.