I was waiting for a train at Waverley Station in Edinburgh. My knee was hurting, so I asked a young man for his seat. He replied, 'There's one over there'. I said, 'Please', and when he refused I poured my water over him.
Sentiment: NEGATIVE
When he realized who he'd pulled over, the policeman shook his head in disbelief. He told me of all people I should know better. He gave me a real dressing down, but let me go.
I was at a restaurant in Glasgow, and I was walking down the stairs. A woman passed me and said, 'Oh my God, what are you doing here?' I didn't know who she was, and I was like, 'Sorry?' She goes, 'Oh no, sorry, I follow you on Twitter. I just didn't expect to see you here.'
I was doing a scene in a medical tent in 18th-century battle dress, pantaloons and a ripped shirt, and the guy from the crew kept asking me if I was OK, if I was too cold. I told him, 'Are you kidding? I'm from Wales!'
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
I met Jack Bruce, one of my heroes, in a studio while doing some recording. England had just beat Scotland in a big football match and I saw Jack trying to break into this refrigerator in the lounge, drunk out of his brain, and I didn't know what to say.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
I was in Liverpool city center and I thought I broke one of my toes, just by jumping on buses. I put my arm in the door on the outside, and the bus just drives away with me naked.
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
I was a kitchen porter for an hour at the Bank of England when I was 18. In the cafe, someone clicked their fingers and shouted, 'Boy, come and clear my table.' I walked out.
I spent a day in a neck brace on a hospital trolley after falling from a horse and cart in Ireland. All the nurses thought I was a traveler, which made me laugh. Who else comes into a hospital saying they've fallen off a horse and cart?