I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner.
From Don Rickles
They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.
I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.
You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.
Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.
The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.'
Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know.
Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.
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