I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.
From Don Rickles
I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
Bob Hope was totally regimented. I go in and say a line like, 'Hi Bob' and I'd have to do it five times, and then Bob would take me to the writers to say the line different ways. He wouldn't let me ad-lib.
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.
My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world.
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