When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
From Don Rickles
I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.
My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas.
I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.
Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.
I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.
It takes many years to be a great comedian.
I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.
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